


Things that They Don't Know

by plutofarewell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban Visiting, M/M, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8789275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutofarewell/pseuds/plutofarewell
Summary: Happened prior to the third book, when Remus Lupin received the letter from Dumbledore asking him to join Hogwarts staff as the Defense Against the Dark Art teacher. Remus has made an specific request upon accepting the job...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *I don't own any of these characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling and the magic world  
> *It was my first fanfic in English (and English is not my first language), thus please bear with my poor writing and grammar/vocab misuse if there's any... ;v;  
> *Still working on the second half of this fanfic, comments are welcome :)

◇◆◇

 

It was an ordinary Saturday morning in the village, nothing unlike the other mornings in this passing week.

The moment just as Remus opened the window, a large barn owl had crashed inside his room and hit its head right on the lamp, making a loud bang.

"What the hell was that——————"

Remus shut the drapes immediately and blocked the complaint outside of his window. He bent down to check on that poor bird, who was now trying hard to stand on its feet.

Somebody had sent him an owl.

Holding the roll of parchment that was taken off the owl's right leg, Remus remained where he was in silence for about ten seconds before he finally opened up the parchment.

It was a letter from Dumbledore.

Remus's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't received any words from the members of the Order......from anyone, actually, in several years.

What could it be?

"Dear Remus, I sincerely hope this letter finds you well..."

He finished reading the letter in a minute, and then read again. And again.

He still couldn't believe what he had just read from the letter, even though it had that familiar signature from the Hogwarts headmaster right there in the bottom.

Dumbledore had sent out a letter to him with the offer of a job position at Hogwarts, the most well-known school of wizardry and witchcraft, as the Defense Against the Dark Art teacher, and that was not all. He had also mentioned in the letter that he'd be glad to do anything to accommodate his 'special situation'. 

"As an gesture to show sincerity and welcome, is there anything else I could do for you?" Dumbledore wrote so in the letter.

Remus took the parchment, read it again from the top to the very bottom line.

He stared at the name "Hogwarts," as if he had never heard of the school before.

The name was like a trigger, that upon flicking, would automatically unlocked all the old memories that he tried so hard to bury deep inside his mind through all this time.

The faces, the laughter, those care-free days with his little group wandering around Hogsmeade... 

...and the people, oh Merlin help me please. He was immediately reminded of the person with long black hair, those grey eyes with gilt of mischief, the big smile that made people feel as if embraced by the sun...

Remus took a step back and sat down on his twin bed, completely lost in his thought. The idea of going back to Hogwarts was apparently a little too overwhelming at the moment. He tried not to, but he couldn't help it————

Thirteen...no, more than fifteen years it had been, and yet there wasn't one single day went by that he didn't wonder.

Why couldn't everything just stay the way they were? Why would he have to face the most unfortunate fact that stroke him harder than the darkest nightmare he'd ever had? Why on earth did it have to be his best friends? Why...

And these all lead down to one big question that he still couldn't figure out the answer for.

How could he have possibly done that?

Remus let out a great sigh, putting down the parchment on the table. He started pacing around the tiny and dark room again for another five minutes, then walked straight to the desk drawer where all the quills and inks were held. 

He had made the decision.

Once determined, there was so sign of hesitation any more in his eyes.

"I...would...like....to...meet...with...him."

Finishing up the last paragraph, Remus put the ink bottle away, double-checked the letter again before he tapped on the window to get Dumbledore's owl's attention.

"There you go..." Remus tied the little roll of parchment carefully to the owl's left leg. Once it was made sure to be secured, the owl flapped her wings several times and shoot off the window like a falling star.

Remus stared into somewhere distant in the summer night sky.

Winter wasn't anywhere close, thus he knew clearly that he won't be able to find the brightest star at this time of the year.

The star that has the same name as the person that he's been wanting to but also been afraid to meet, for the past thirteen years.

Sirius Orion Black.

 

◇◆◇

 

Much to Dumbledore's surprise, he received the letter from Remus way earlier than he expected.

He had just sent out the owl about three days ago, and was wondering if he'd be hearing from Remus within two weeks. Last time he checked, Remus was working as a private tutor somewhere far down the south.

Dumbledore opened up the parchment and went through the first few lines rather quickly. He nodded as he kept reading, seemed like he already knew that Remus would for sure take the job.

However...

Dumbledore's eyes were fixed on the last paragraph of Remus's letter. 

He frowned a bit, and read this particular sentence again.

"I would like to meet with him...if it's possible."

Knowing Remus, he was not a person who would joke around about something serious————he had proven to be responsible and reliable through the past decade, and Dumbledore would trust him with his life, just like he would with Hagrid.

Yet here he was, re-reading the letter coming from Remus and wondering what he should do with it. It was not that he couldn't understand why Remus had made such an specific request; as a matter of fact, he was a little surprised that Remus hadn't mentioned anything in the past thirteen years. 

Remus was not present when it happened that night at Godric Hollow, and Dumbledore could imagine just how tortured and desperate Remus must had felt when he'd heard the news...after all, he knew all along about how the four of them had founded quite a popular little group and even named themselves "The Marauders" back at their Hogwarts times.

It was not impossible, though, to answer to Remus's request...so the real question is, should he?

It didn't take him too long to make the decision. Although he was never fond of the Ministry of Magic, it seemed that he would have to pay another visit to Fudge's office before he could get back to Remus.

 

◇◆◇

 

"Right on time, Remus."

Dumbledore was standing at the corner of a coffee house, holding a bagel and a cup of hot chocolate. He looked up and saw Remus walking past the street, holding the same beverage as he was.

"Good morning, Dumbledore. It has been a while." Remus smiled and greeted the headmaster politely.

Remus was amazed when he received Dumbledore's second letter with a positive answer to his request. He was actually regretting a little bit when he re-considered what kind of request he had put forth, but it was too late. He spent the next few days in anxiety, and...

He almost packed up everything on the day of and headed back to north. 

"It definitely has...such a delight to see you again, Remus." Dumbledore watched him taking a sip of the hot chocolate, "I believe I have made the right decision to offer you the teaching position then." He added, half-joking.

Remus blinked, fingers tapping softly on the cup sleeve. "I would like to thank you again for your understanding and consideration..."

Dumbledore interrupted him with a brief hand-waving gesture, a smile appeared on his face. "Not at all, Remus. Now would you like to try some bagel? You know, it'll be better to get some food down your stomach before we head off...to that place."

"I've had some breakfast before I came, thank you." Remus took another sip of his hot chocolate, waiting patiently as Dumbledore struggled to put strawberry cream cheese on the bagel.

"I like this kind of Muggle food a lot." Dumbledore knew that Remus had a rich knowledge of Muggle world already. He took a bite, feeling the strawberry cream cheese melted on his tongue: "How come they don't have a lemon flavor of those?"

Remus had heard of Dumbledore's extreme addiction to sherbet lemon, and he couldn't help picturing how Dumbledore spent five minutes at the coffee house trying to search for a lemon flavor cream cheese but only found himself disappointed.

"It may be a good idea for bagel business." He smiled, feeling a little more relaxed than he was.

When Dumbledore was finally done with the bagel, he held out an arm to Remus: "We are going to Apparate, but not directly to the island...it's got very strong protections, so we'll probably have to ride the Thestrals. Ready?"

Remus took a deep long breath, "I'm ready."

"I hope the hot chocolate won't spill during Apparition." Dumbledore said, as if they were just going on a normal field trip.

Remus smiled again, but he did seize the cup harder.

"Let's set off then, shall we? Someone's been waiting." Dumbledore pulled out the pocket watch and carefully checked the time again.

"Three, two, one."

 

It's about time.

 

to be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of "Things that They Don't Know," Remus was about to visit Sirius in Azkaban.
> 
> The meeting might not be what you thought it would be like...but I had this idea even before I started writing ;v;  
> Hope you'll still enjoy it! ;v;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I don't own any of these characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling and the magic world  
> *It was my first fanfic in English (and English is not my first language), thus please bear with my poor writing and grammar/vocab misuse if there's any... ;v;  
> *All comments are welcome! :)

◇◆◇

 

Although Remus had pictured in his head many times about how this island where Azkaban was located would look like, it still came as quite a big shock to him when he actually set foot on the shore.

At first, Remus was comparing it to the Forbidden Forest in Hogwarts, that Azkaban might be surrounded by some sort of jungles that were home to different kinds of dark creatures. He hadn’t had many chances to visit the Forbidden Forest, of course, being a Prefect back in his old school days. On the other hand, his two best friends, used to spend quite some time doing school services there as a reward of the numerous times they’ve got themselves in trouble.

However, this little island here…

It was almost like a land where time had stood still, with no sign of life or whatsoever. The sky was gloomy, with the sound of thunderstorm came hidden behind the thick clouds. The sea looked dead, even the air they breathed in was as cold as ice----

Remus was glad that he had brought a scarf with him, because he was trying to use the spell to keep the body warm and it didn’t seem to work very well.

“And we’re still not inside Azkaban yet.” Dumbledore looked at Remus, who was busy wrapping the scarf around his neck. “That’s wise.”

“Don’t you feel cold?”

“I’m all right. It’s not my first time visiting…” Dumbledore paused for a second, “a place like this.”

Who else could Dumbledore have visited before?

But Remus didn’t ask. They walked quietly towards this tiny cabin, which was pretty much the only visible feature in sight.

Someone dressed in a grey robe was waiting outside of the cabin. When he saw them coming close, he took out a small object that looked like a whistle and blew it.

“Permission.” He asked in a raspy voice.

Dumbledore handed over the letter obtained from Fudge’s office.

“Very well.” He took a glance of the signature and handed it back to Dumbledore. Then he turned around and pointed at a carriage that showed up from nowhere, didn’t even bother speaking of another word.

“Ah, Thestrals.” Dumbledore took a step forward, examining the winged horses with a skeletal body. “They look a bit different from the ones at Hogwarts, don’t you think?”

“Actually, I haven’t seen one since graduation.” Remus’s attention was drawn to Thestral’s white, glittering eyes with no pupils. He couldn’t sense any expression from those eyes, either. Indeed, it would be a perfect choice for transportation here in this island, which was continually infested with Dementors.

The carriage was slowly taking them to the center of the island. No one had spoken another word until the top of the fortress popped up into view beneath the foggy sky.

“That didn’t take long.” Dumbledore was still holding that beverage, except that the hot chocolate should’ve gone cold now.

Remus nodded along. A combination of anxiety and nervosity suddenly seized him at the sight of that fortress.

That was where Sirius has been staying, for the last twelve years. How…how has he been?

Remus was smart enough to notice straightaway that he was asking a really silly question. What was he expecting? Azkaban is no holiday resort. He should thank goodness that Sirius hasn’t already gone mad…

Wait.

Remus instantly realized that he hadn’t really thought these through before he came. What had Sirius become of? What would twelve years of Azkaban have done to him? What if he had become insane and forgotten about everything he’d done and everyone that he used to know?  
Would he still be able to recognize him…Remus?

Remus felt as if he was stroke by a panic attack. For all this time he had been too focused on the part that he would be meeting with Sirius soon to possibly think of anything else.

He was so not ready for this. Should he talk to Dumbledore right now?

Before he could take any further action, the carriage stopped. They were already at the entrance of the fortress.

Remus had no idea how he still managed to get off the carriage and walked inside the fortress with Dumbledore. He watched blankly as Dumbledore walked across the hallway to show the permission to an officer once again and came back with a pass that has the number “0327” on it.

“There you go.” Dumbledore handed the pass to him, his voice sounded quite apologetic: “The rules here state that only one visitor is allowed at a time, no exceptions. I’m sorry that I won’t be able to be in company.”

Remus took the pass from Dumbledore, feeling a little dizzy about what he had just heard.

“You’re wasting time now, Remus.” Dumbledore urged him, “Just walk straight through the door and wait by the staircases. Someone will come to take you to the cell.”

Remus murmured thanks and started walking towards the wooden doors.

“Cell 0327?”

Someone’s waiting at the staircases, just as Dumbledore had told him.

“Umm..yes.” Remus showed him the pass. The person who was standing in front of him was incredibly short. He was wearing a purple robe that was a little too big for his size.

“Follow me.” He turned around and started walking up the stairs.

It felt even colder inside the fortress. Remus put both of his hands inside the pocket, looked up and noticed that the person walking in front of him was holding a lamp that looked rather strange.

He came to realize that he hadn’t come across any Dementors yet. Weren’t they guarding the fortress?

“Where are all the Dementors?” Remus looked around as they were going up.

“Well, you don’t want to see any of them, do you?” The short man turned around and glared at Remus.

“No.” Remus wasn’t sure if he’s supposed to ask any questions; the short man seemed a little pissed.

“Then why bother asking?”

“Sorry.”

That was the end of their conversation. Remus walked in silence as he continued to think about Sirius. What should be the first word to say? How was he going to react? What if…

“Wait, did he know that I was coming to visit?” Words came out before he could control it. Remus took a glance at the short man and was not surprised at all to see his eyebrows pulled down together. His jaw clenched; Remus looked away.

“This is your floor, just walk all the way down to your left.” He said shortly, “You only have ten minutes.”

Remus was more than relieved to walk away from the short man. However, before he could catch a breath, what he glimpsed at the first cell made his eyes widened.

A woman----face covered in mud and something red that looked like blood, was staring at him with a resentful look as if he had murdered her entire family. Suddenly she jumped up and started banging her head against the wall, screaming at the top of her lunge----blood started running down her cheek, but she didn’t even seem to care.

Remus felt as if someone had force-fed him a large chuck of giggly weed. He felt something was burning down his throat and he wasn’t able to make any sound as he started walking faster and faster. He did not dare to take another look at what was going on in the other cells, but the screaming and roaring coming from behind didn’t help at all----he was getting more and more scared that he just wanted to turn around and get the hell out of here right away.

But he didn’t, and he had run out of choices already----he had reached the end of the hall way. He was standing in front of cell 0327 now.

There was a moment of silence, before it was interrupted by some broken groans.

“…Sirius?” He called softly.

Remus moved a step forward, eyes fixed on the person who was laying flat on the floor.

No one answered him.

“…Sirius.”

He murmured, shocked to his very core about what he had seen with his own eyes.

 

◇◆◇

 

“Hey Moony, what are you doing?” Someone leaned over and tried to take the book away.

“Stop it, Sirius. I’m reading.” Remus knew immediately who it was the second he heard that familiar voice.

“Reading? Come on Moony! Look outside----don’t tell me you’re gonna spend the next six hours reading in the common room all by yourself in such a beautiful day?” Sirius walked over and sat down beside him, “James is about to start Quidditch practices soon----wanna come?”

“No, Sirius. I told you I need to read----”

“Rock-paper-scissors?” Sirius didn’t seem to give up easily. He was suggesting to play the Muggle game that’s designed as a choosing method when two people couldn’t come to an agreement. Remus had taught them this hand game on the train to Hogwarts in their second grade, and Sirius loved it. He usually responded quick and often beat James within three rounds.

“What?” Remus had finally looked up, “…Sirius?”

He had just noticed that Sirius was wearing a side ponytail today. Maybe it’s because of the weather…Remus thought. He was staring at the long, lustrous black hair and he suddenly remembered that the first time he saw Sirius from behind, he had almost mistaken him as a girl.

The side ponytail actually looked pretty good----fit him well. Now it’s their third year at Hogwarts, and Sirius’s hair sure had grown longer. Why didn’t he try and get a haircut? Short hair would’ve suited him too…

“Remus? Remus? Is there anything wrong?”

A flush crept up his face when Remus realized that he had been staring at his best friend’s face for two minutes without talking. He pretended to clear his throat: “Nothing…you were saying?”

“Rock-paper-scissors.” Sirius raised his eyebrows, his eyes twinkled with excitement: “If I win, you’ll have to come down and watch the Quidditch practices with us.”

“What if I win?” The corner of Remus’s mouth turned up, “Will you stay and read with me?”

“I…fine.” Sirius grinned, “but I seriously doubt if that’s gonna happen----”

“We’ll see.” Remus closed up the book and put it on the table. “Ready? One, two, three---”

“Rock-paper-scissors!” One held out a simple fist and one held out a flat hand.

“Aha, I knew it!” Sirius formed a “V” gesture and laughed out loud, “Now come on Moony, James has been waiting----”

He grabbed Remus’s hand and dragged him out of the Gryffindor common room. As they were running towards the schoolyard, the wind blew through Sirius’s long, black hair and Remus, who was running right behind Sirius, felt the rush of it against his cheek.

It’s like someone has planted a seed in his mind.

 

And that was about seventeen years ago.

 

◇◆◇

 

Even though Remus had known Sirius since the age of eleven, he was still having trouble to match this person who was laying in front him with the image of Sirius from his memory. He couldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t witnessed everything with his own eyes----he watched painfully as his lower lip trembled; his face twisted.

He was not even sure if Sirius was aware of his presence. The waxy skin and the filthy, tangled hair hung to his elbows made him look like a corpse----he wasn’t even sure if Sirius was still alive if it weren’t for the broken groans coming from his throat. It seemed like he had been trapped in a horror nightmare, and he was cursed to remain that way forever.

Remus couldn’t tell how grateful he was, that Sirius was not conscious at the moment. He couldn’t have taken it, that was too much----

How would he be able to face him and talk to him like nothing had ever happened? Twelve years of Azkaban!

Remus had never told anyone, not even Dumbledore---that he actually trusted Sirius. He never truly believed the whole story of Sirius blowing up the entire street and murdered the lot of Muggles after he betrayed James and Lily. No. Sirius won’t do that. The Sirius that he knew and trusted with, would’ve never done that. He would rather die than betraying his friends.

But who’s going to believe him? Taking the words from a werewolf? He wasn’t even there that night when it happened and he got nothing to prove that Sirius was innocent. He had this tiny bit of hope when Dumbledore cleared Snape’s name from the Death Eaters, but that was it----nothing about Sirius’s case changed. He had then stayed in Azkaban till today.

If Remus hadn’t asked Dumbledore for this favor, would he be able to meet Sirius ever again in this life?

Sirius was still uncomfortably asleep; he was groaning in pain and his body was shivering cold on the floor. Apparently, he wasn’t informed of Remus’s visiting and Remus was not going to let him know anyway.

He stood there for another minute or two till he heard the other voice coming across the hall way: “Time’s up.”

“Just…just one second.” Remus hurried to take the grey scarf off. He was about to bend down and place the scarf on the corner when he heard that short man’s voice again, this time coming much closer: “What are you doing?”

“It’s just a scarf.” Remus seized the scarf so tight that his knuckles turned white. “Just…a scarf.”

“……” The short man stared at him suspiciously. “Are you his family or something?”

“I’m…I used to be…” his friend? His best friend who had been fine with him spending the past twelve years all alone in this creepy disgusting prison?

Merlin please, have some mercy. This could be the last time that he’ll ever see Sirius again, the person that he had valued more than anything else in his life…

His eyes were sore and itchy; he looked away instantly to avoid the short man’s gaze.

Silence filled up in the air. Just when Remus was about to say something else, he heard the short man’s voice.

“Fine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said fine. Leave that thing there and we should get going.” The short man turned his back to him and walked away.

Remus carefully folded the scarf and gently put it next to the bars.

“Good night, Sirius.”

Just like the way he was so used to since the first day he had met Sirius at Hogwarts.

 

“Thank you.” Remus caught up with the short man. They walked down the stairs together.

“Hmm” was the only reply he got, then everything fell back to silence.

 

◇◆◇

 

Dumbledore was sitting in that small office and having a rather pleasant conversation with the only officer when Remus exited through the door. He heard something about knitting patterns and saw Dumbledore using hand gestures to demonstrate how to make one of the flowery patterns.

“Oh, hello Remus.” Dumbledore said, looking at his sweater. “I see that you’re done with your business…where’s your scarf, by the way?”

“I…”

“Oh well, you can surely survive without it.” Dumbledore lifted an eyebrow, his mouth curved into a smile: “Now shall we get back to where we were?”

“Certainly, headmaster.”

 

***

“What is that?” Sitting up from the cold floor, Sirius felt even more tired after a long time of sleep. He noticed that something had been put inside his cell----it was a scarf.

It felt soft and warm in his hand. He did a little walking around his cell, but nothing else was found that would explain what the scarf was doing here.

For one second he thought that someone had paid a visit, but that’s never gonna happen. Why would someone want to come to visit him, a bloody murder? He must have been daydreaming.

However, it was getting colder these days inside Azkaban…

“Might as well.” He took the scarf and wrapped it around his body, feeling a little better somehow. He leaned towards the wall and closed his eyes.

He soon fell asleep again.


End file.
